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I do not subscribe to any recovery programs and I feel comfortable (most of the time) around alcohol. I have recently found that I have problems meeting people my age (particularly for romantic relations) because I am (as my mother says) a non-active alcoholic.I have found that time and time again I will be having a great discussion with someone and my sobriety will come up, and it pretty much ends all relations.Although the Big Book of AA doesn’t offer guidelines on dating in recovery, addiction counselors strongly advise waiting until a person has achieved one year of sobriety.Tanya Desloover, MA, CADCII, a marriage and family therapist intern at The Rose, a women-only addiction treatment center in Newport Beach, California, also recommends waiting one year.Codependent individuals focus too heavily on the needs of their partner (“My happiness is dependent on making/keeping you happy”), and define themselves by their relationship, sometimes lowering their personal standards to please someone else.Some women choose abusive partners in early recovery because they lack discernment or grew accustomed to being treated poorly in childhood.In early recovery, people tend to choose the same type of partner they would’ve chosen when they were using drugs.
It would follow then, that recovering individuals would choose differently after working on themselves first.
Dear Stanton, I hope this is a question you can field, I didn’t see one like it with the others.
I am a twenty-three year old college student, who has been recovering from alcoholism for over two years.
The dissatisfaction they feel in their relationships is often the stressor that led to their drug abuse in the first place.
“Women in early recovery often choose abusive men because they seem in control, while the women feel out of control in their own lives.