Dating someone in aa recovery
As someone who has had life experiences that changed who I am / was I understand these things - though different, every bit as much life altering. She does ask (even when we're not together) if it's okay that she has a drink.
If you were me would you slowly just stop drinking any kind of alchohol and hope that he doesn't think I'm doing it for him - or would you prefer that I ask you up front and discuss it and make a decision either way from that point together? And while this is nice, she really doesn't need to - for me anyway.
My wife started going to Al-Anon almost 5 years ago. She needed support before I was willing to seek help.
She continues to go because it helps her get what she needs, whatever that is.
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This is just very new to me - I am secure in my own self - I make my own way in this world. If we are ever in a situation that has become risky for me, I need to get the hell out. We decided, together, that alcohol is not allowed in our house. That doesn't automatically mean she has change her behavior.
But that didn't matter, he was honest with me and told me that he couldn't be with someone who drinks. I've met this fabulous guy, who is smart, funny, committed to his sobriety and has a wonderful support group of friends. I can give up drinking and would for him but I don't want him to feel like he is trying to "change" me since he has made statements about how he would never want to do that. I just really don't know that much about this disease - is there somewhere people like me can go to find out how better to support - be with someone who is truely amazing to be with - I guess I just don't know what to do and am open to any advice.My question is, I am not an alchoholic, I drink socially and wonder if this is too much of a burden for him to bear. It does appear that all his friends have paired up with fellow recovering alchoholics and I guess I'm a little afraid that ultimately I won't fit in.. He should have good sobriety before he dates anyone.Thank you for your open / honest response it helps to hear how others work these things out.What kind of program is your wife in if she is "normal" - are there programs for partners?