10 rules of dating my daughter

I thought I'd share it with you guys, as I'm sure many of you are fathers who might appreciate this.

Someday when I have kids (as Ian would say: "OMG Heaven Forbid!

Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough for my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy outside of Hanoi. ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ In 50 words or less, what does "DON' T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?

Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you? _____________ SHORT-ANSWER SECTION: Answer by filling in the blank.

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However, to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during your date with my daughter, I will use my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely to your waist."), I'm going to post this on the front door in 24 point font to ward off any potential suitors for my daughter. ******************* Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me.Ten Simple Rules for Dating my Daughter Rule One : If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.Rule Two : You do not touch my daughter in front of me.

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